Just got home from a rather unpleasant day at school. Unpleasant because it involved group work which is not something that the crazy social phobic in me likes doing! The teachers of this class I’m taking randomly put together some groups and today I met my group for the first time. None of us knew each other before this so this was the awkward first meeting. And we had to try and decide on a subject for our project while getting to know each other and all that.
Blah. Enough of that.
Now I’m going to supress all thoughts about group work and just watch Big Love.
The song I mentioned in the last post is still playing in my head.
I’m making school worry me too much these days. Endlessly and always thinking about it.
I wish I could sometimes stop thinking.
But what makes me happy these days is the Thanksgiving dinner me and my friend Elisabet are having on Saturday. It’s going to be a grand dinner party for us and our friends. We are having great fun planning it – in details! (I’m talking outfits, playlist, decorations, silly games… everything)
We are trying to do it as American as we can. But I’m having troubles with side dishes. What do you eat with turkey?
My internet connection died on my a week ago. And the procrastinator and the social phobic that I am, I didn’t do anything about it. Until yesterday. It turned out to be very simple, to fix this thing, so here I am again.
I am in a strange mood today.
Some more Gulliver
And a phonecall from my friend Anna. She’s a mommy now. I find that so strange. So strange that I haven’t called her since she had the baby 8 days ago. I’m weird. I was actually surprised when I talked to her on the phone because she sounded just like the Anna I have known for so many years. Somehow I think I expected her to be a totally different person, now that she’s a mother.
I’m going to visit them tonight. The family of three. I hope the baby boy will like me…
I think it’s official now – There’s nobody in the whole wide universe that is worse at making decisions than me. I’m the worst decisionmaker that ever was! It’s not so much that I make bad decisions – I just can’t decide. Anything. Uni started last monday and I’ve been full of decision making anxiety since than and my head hurts from all the thinking I’ve been doing. I can’t decide which courses to take, you see. Whether to take as many courses as I possibly can this term so I can concentrate on my BA next term, or whether to take more literature classes than lingustic classes, or what I should write about in my BA and so on and so forth. My head is spinning. The social phobic in me also doesn’t want to take classes that involves group work, discussion and sharing of my writing. But the sensible voice in my head says I should go for the challenge.
I’m pathetic… And I’m fully aware that this is what can be called a luxurious problem.
And I miss my summerjob and the people there.
Random fact: I really like the movie “About a boy” and the soundtrack from it.
Hopelessness is getting to me. I haven’t been able to concentrate on studying today and am more convinced than ever that I have ADD. Or maybe I’m just lazy. I have watched a lot af SYTYCD, played scrabble on facebook, read every blog in the world, eaten a lot of chocolate and cookies and gone wild with scissors and transformed old jeans into shorts. Don’t know what I think about that project yet though.
Anyway, the way things are going I won’t pass this exam tomorrow and I really dislike myself for not getting my act together and just study.
I need some JOY and sunshine right now.
A photo from a sunny and happy day, taken last summer on my Holga. Travelling with friends.